


Sweet Blindness

by Ttttrickster (iscatterthemintimeandspace)



Series: Sweet  Sabriel Serial Killer Verse [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Almost Dying, Blood, Confessions of love, FBI Agent! Castiel, FBI Agent! Dean, Hospitals, M/M, Sweet Sabriel Serial Killer AU, serial killer au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 10:09:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15947192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iscatterthemintimeandspace/pseuds/Ttttrickster
Summary: Dean stared down at his hands. The hospital was buzzing around him, and all he could think about was Cas.Part of the Sweet Sabriel Serial Killers Verse. This isn't a stand alone. Set during "Sweets For My Sweet." (Part 4) It'll probably make more sense if you at least read that one :)





	Sweet Blindness

_ “Please. Please hurry.” _

_ “Please.” _

Dean stared down at his hands. The hospital was buzzing around him, and all he could think about was Cas. 

Cas had been unconscious by the time the paramedics arrived at the warehouse. Sam had cut him deep, and Dean had been afraid that he’d bleed out before the ambulance got there. 

There wasn’t room for Dean to go with him, so he followed along in the car in which he’d transported Gabriel. Cas was already in surgery when he pulled up at the ER, and Dean was herded into the surgical waiting room to wait it out. It was hours later before the doctors let him see Cas. 

The room was dark when he entered, a slow beeping coming from the side of the bed where Cas was lying, too still for Dean’s liking. He was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires, his face almost as pale as the sheets that lay twisted around him. 

The doctors wouldn’t tell him anything, him not being family, but Dean would have been stupid not to be able to read their grim expressions. Cas was in a bad way, and it was all his fault. He’d been so blinded that he hadn’t seen the answer right in front of his face; that his own brother was a monster. 

He should have known that Gabriel’s plan wasn’t as cut and dry as it seemed, that there was something else there, but he wanted to get Sam back, and he was willing to walk through hell to do it. He should have realized what was going on, and now Cas was paying the price for his mistakes. 

Dean looked down at his hands again, trembling and sticky with Cas’ blood. He couldn’t stop looking at them, picturing Cas’ body under his hands, the warmth leaving him as each drop spilled to the floor. He didn’t think he would ever forget the feeling in his chest was Cas breathing grew shallower and shallower. All he could think about was how Cas was going to die and Dean was never going to be able to tell him how he felt. 

His gaze shifted to the body on the bed, Cas’ stupid long eyelashes fanned out over his too-pale cheeks. If he died, Dean would never get to tell him he loved him. 

He hadn’t meant for that to happen, sure he’d fooled around with a couple guys in college, and a dozen or so in the academy, but when Dean pictured himself falling in love and settling down, it was always with a woman. Until he met Castiel Collins. 

Dean and Cas were at the Academy at the same time, but hadn’t spent much time together until they were partnered under the direction of Bobby Singer, the head of the Behavioral Analysis Unit. To tell the truth, Dean had been a little creeped out by Cas at first, he had a bad habit of standing too close, staring too long and all other manner of of putting behaviors, but Dean came to respect his work ethic, and his keen sense of investigation among other things. 

Dense as he was sometimes, it took Dean a little longer to notice Castiel’s physical charms, and his humor. It clearly hadn’t taken everyone else that long to notice, not if the scores of men and women practically throwing themselves at Cas every time they went out was something to go by. Dean had tried to ignore it at first, tried to get over him by dating other people, but it was hard to ignore Cas when they worked together every day. So Dean tried to sack up and shove his feelings down farther in, where he’d never have to acknowledge them again. 

He hadn’t been as circumspect as he thought he was. 

“So Cas huh?” Sam had asked one afternoon after they’d all eaten lunch together in the cafe downstairs. 

“What? No!” Dean had sputtered, his ears going red as he looked down at his tray. 

Sam rolled his eyes. “C’mon Dean,” he teased with a smirk. “The eye sex you two have? You aren’t fooling anyone.” 

Dean scoffed, his face reddening to match his ears. “Don’t be ridiculous.” 

Sam chuckled as he picked up his tray and walked away from him, leaving Dean staring at his back in disbelief. 

What he wouldn’t give to see Cas’ eyes right now. 

He looked back up at Cas’ face, his features distorted by the tap used to keep his oxygen in place. If he was never going to get another chance to tell Cas how he felt, he may as well take it. 

“Cas,” he started, leaning over and putting his hand on the bed. “I’m…. you know I’m not good with words. I don’t know how to say this,” he swallowed hard. “But ….I… ummmm,” he stammered. The guy wasn’t even awake and he had Dean nervous and jumpy, like a teenager on his first date with the Cheer captain. 

He took a deep breath, picturing Cas’ face in his head, his messy black hair, sharp blue eyes, the perfect pout of his lips. He’d said this all so many times in his mind, and he pretended it was just one of those times, one among many but never the last. 

“Cas, I love you,” he said, not looking up. “I think I have for a long time and didn’t want to admit it. I hate that I waited this long to tell you. I was scared you would reject me, I was scared of what people would think, but not as scared as I am right now, of losing you.” 

Tears stuck to Dean’s lashes, and one fell before he could stop it, rolling down his cheek and onto the bed. He rubbed it away hurriedly, sniffling as he wiped his nose on his coat  Cas needed him to be strong for him, not fall to pieces the moment that Cas really needed him. He had already let him down once, by letting his feelings for his brother cloud his better judgement. He was not going to do it again. 

Suddenly, Dean felt something miraculous, a cold hand squeezing his own. 

“Hey Winchester,” Cas smiled at him. “No chick flick moments, remember?” 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
